How To

Here is how you get skinny:

  1. Do not eat bread or rice.
  2. Pump at least 60 pounds each day for 2 hours with only a 1 minute break for water.
  3. If you get an air freshener, do not make it smell like fruit (such as apple) or any food.
  4. When you are hungry, drink water.
  5. When you are thirsty, drink water.
  6. When you are not full, drink water.
  7. When you don’t want to eat anything, drink water.
  8. Hang a picture of a skinny person on your refrigerator, right on top of the crack of the freezer side and the refrigerator side and tape it down so you cannot open either side.
  9. Do not cut any holes in the back or side of your refrigerator.
  10. Do not attempt to trick yourself.
  11. Do not write or read anything that has the word “eat” in it.
  12. Do not read this word right now: EAT. EAT. EAT. (Remember, follow the rule! DON’T read “eat”)
  13. Do drink water.
  14. Read.
  15. When reading, do not eat a snack.

Here is how you get fat.

  1. Do eat bread or rice.
  2. Pump 0.5 pounds of iron each day for 1 hours with only a 59 second break for water.
  3. If you get an air freshener, do make it smell like fruit (such as apple) or any food.
  4. When you are hungry, eat food.
  5. When you are thirsty, eat food.
  6. When you are not full, eat food.
  7. When you don’t want to eat anything, eat food.
  8. Hang a picture of a skinny person on your pillow,so you can punch it every day and yell, “That used to be me! Now I’m nice and juicy and fat!”
  9. Hang a picture of French fries on your refrigerator.
  10. Hang the McDonalds number on your phone.
  11. Do not write or read anything that has the word “skinny” in it.
  12. Do not read this word right now: SKINNY. SKINNY. SKINNY. (Remember, follow the rule! DON’T read “skinny”)
  13. Do eat food.
  14. Eat food.
  15. When reading, eat a snack.

This is how you destroy a computer in 2 seconds.

  1. Place on open window sill on highest floor of your complex or home.
  2. Push off.
  3. Watch as it smashes.
  4. Hope it doesn’t light anything.

That was not a very good one, so here is a better one for how to destroy a computer, provided you have a internet connection that’s fast.

  1. Download things from places you never knew about.
  2. Go to something like gooogle.com or goggle.com.
  3. Install everything you can imagine.
  4. Wait.
  5. Everyday, install 50 more things from places you never knew about.
  6. Wait.
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: